[-$13,863] Uncertainty

This job is so draining that I don’t often have the energy to post anymore. However, things could be worse, right?

What will I do?  I’m trying to figure that out before life figures it out for me. I have both short and long term considerations at play, which makes decision-making more complicated.

The Job

I was able to get another portion of work done, so the immediate pressure on me has died down a little bit, at least for the next day or two before things ramp up again. I still feel like I’m struggling in this job because there is always so much to do and not enough time to get it all done. I’m still learning about this industry and…everything else.  I’ve been at the new job for 3 months now. It feels like it’s been a year already.

The poor performance layoffs seem to have stopped, but now there are fast-growing rumors of layoffs on the horizon – possibly a big layoff. A number of companies have announced layoffs in the news over the past month or two, so in this climate, it is very possible that this might happen where I work. Company leaders will need to address these rumors one way or another, and very soon. The rumors are coming from somewhere. Employees are nervous and morale is dropping. People on my floor seem less nervous, so maybe that’s a good sign? Or maybe they’re less nervous because they feel that their own roles are secure. I only just started working there and you know the saying – ‘Last in. First out’.

This job sucks the life out of me, but it provides a paycheck. I’m not crazy about this job, but getting laid off is not how I’d want to leave. I wouldn’t even qualify for any severance. At least the poor performers who were getting fired over the last three months got warnings. A big layoff chop will be sudden and out of nowhere. If you have secure employment, you might want to settle in and not make any risky moves right now. So yeah, I’m as stressed as usual, but also nervous now.

Housing Turnover

Speaking of losing people at work, one of my roommates is moving out. So the rest of us will need to scramble to get another person in here as soon as possible. None of us want to make up for the missed rent. I hope the next person is as easy to live with as the one who is leaving. Sigh.

Student Loan Debt

I made a couple of payments to bring the balance down to $13,863. I was going to continue putting money toward the loan, but now with the layoff rumors starting, I’m going to back off on the extra payments for the immediate future until I know if I will continue to have a job.

“Life Fund” Savings

With layoffs potentially looming, I’m going to continue to stockpile cash while I can. As of today, my Life Fund is still holding at $8,000.


“Debtor’s prison is real, and opportunity cost is a bitch.” (DDSW Archives)


  1. Cathy · September 14, 2019

    So proud of you. You’re making thoughtful decisions, Make sure you get your rest and exercise (even 5 min of exercise). Keep pacing yourself and when the debt is dead you can get a less stressful job.


  2. Michelle · September 15, 2019

    I can’t even begin to understand your stress and anxiety levels right now. They must be through the roof. There is so much going on in so many different areas of your life. I truly hope that everything works out for you!


  3. maggiemayat50 · September 15, 2019

    Ugh – it is an awful slog when the work environment is so tough. I know it’s hard to think about a work strategy with this company, but perhaps try to connect with people in other departments when you can. Hopefully that could help with either some intel into what’s going on and a potential transfer?

    If that’s not possible/feasible, then keep chugging along while being the stoic, non-complainer. Sometimes that helps when they start deciding who to keep and who to lay off. Don’t count yourself out yet because they could pick you over a more highly paid complainer.

    Great job on the emergency savings. Good luck and just keep in mind this situation is only temporary. It sucks, but it isn’t forever.


  4. Paul · September 16, 2019

    Hope you can hang doggedly in now you’re so close to erasing the debt. I’d guess that two years ago, with well over £100,000 of debt, if someone said you’d be where you are now it would probably sound very appealing. But I’m not being glib because I’ve been burdened by debt myself in the past.
    We, your followers, are cheering you on now you’re on the final lap.


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