Mean Girls and Cliques at the Gym

Mean-Girls-Clique-Gym

So as you know, I’ve been thinking about joining a local gym to get in shape. I paid for a drop-in class today to get another sense of the place.  The gym is very small and because of this, it has small classes (5-10 people). It’s more of a studio, actually. There are no machines or equipment. We work out with freeweights and bodyweight. The workouts have a tiny tiny bit of a Crossfit feel to them, but aren’t nearly as intense. I really like this a lot.

The downside to this is that the small number of  regular customers all know each other and are rather clique-y. Both times that I’ve gone, I’ve just listened to the other members have inside conversations about people that they know in common or each other’s personal lives. I suppose I should be more outgoing, but this is something to be said about making visitors feel welcomed. It’s been a little uncomfortable at times, but whatever; I’m there to workout. And workout I did. …Or, at least I tried to.

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The exercises are almost all new to me so the instructor had to keep correcting my form and giving me waaay scaled down modifications. It’s a little sting to your pride when you can’t do something that all the other students in class are doing. We all have a little competitive streak in us. This is why classes work better for me. I appreciate the correction and feedback. That’s why I’m there. As long as I feel sore in the morning and I get a good workout, I can deal with a little ‘gym-timidation’. Well, I can deal with THAT kind of gym-timidation (above), NOT THIS kind (below). Yikes! 😯

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Well, one chick shows up late and instead of taking a wide open spot on my right next to the windows, she starts working out right behind me. What? In an effort to not kick her in the face during my exercise, I politely move over a bit. After a couple of more exercise rotations, I notice that she has maneuvered herself between me and the rest of the class. I am now against the windows.  Whatever, no problem.

mean-girl-at gym

As the class progresses, she talks a lot to everyone, but never to me. In fact, she turns her back to me, effectively cutting me off from the rest of the people, and talks with everyone else. Uhh, okaaay. Whatever.  I keep doing my reps. I got a pretty decent workout. I’ll know how good of a workout tomorrow depending on how I feel in the morning. Soreness=good.

There is a routine at the end of class that we wipe our mats down with cleaning wipes that we are handed. Little Miss Welcome Wagon grabbed the container of wipes and started handing them out to everyone. She came over to where I was and pulled out a wipe. ‘Oh! Thank you’, I said and went to grab  it. She dropped the wipe on her own mat. Oops, ok. That wasn’t for me.  She pulled out another wipe. ”Thanks’, I said again and reached for the wipe. She kept the wipe in her hand, turned around, and continued giving them out to everyone else.

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(Image: Kevin Hart, Comedian)

WTF? It took me a few seconds to process what just happened. I didn’t know her name so I couldn’t call her out on it. Am I reading too much into this, or did this chick just diss me?  I don’t get it. Well, I have a few theories about why, but I still don’t get it.  I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know why she would intentionally do passive aggressive things against me, someone she doesn’t know. Maybe it was a simple misunderstanding. Or maybe I should have kicked her in the face when I had the chance. 😈

I’m still undecided about joining this gym, not because of what happened today, but because it is quite pricey. I want to attend at least one or two other classes with different instructors to get a full feel of the place and what they have to offer. I may also check out another gym for a class or two, but that gym is even father away. I know I need to try working out more in my room but my motivation is as small as the space that I have.

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I have some time to think about it.  What do you guys think? Do you belong to a gym/studio?  How did you acclimate? Is it worth it to you?

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“Debtor’s prison is real, and opportunity cost is a bitch.” (DDSW)

Living Alone vs. Having Roommates: Health vs. Money?

credit - crashdwell dot com blog

Apartment Fever and Taking My Own Advice

For the past week I’ve had a fever — apartment fever. I experienced some irritations caused by my roommate that led me to start thinking about getting my own place again.

I needed to re-read my own past blog posts to remember my motivation for staying out of debt. I was slipping back into my old mindset, wanting a posh apartment even with a ton of debt and not enough money to furnish the place.

For now, the fever has passed. I’d like to have all my credit card debt gone and be under six figures of student loan debt before I even consider this again, but life has a way of throwing curveballs.

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microapt

My Reasons for Living Alone

I would LOVE to live in a tiny, clean, modern, micro-apartment like the one shown above. They don’t exist where I live yet, but here is to dreaming.

1. Health – As I discussed in one of my early posts, I’m a very introverted and private person, so I was very unhappy to say the least when my debt forced me to give up the one thing that cherished above all material possessions – my privacy.  My old apartment was my oasis to recharge from a world that was stressful, and at times, overwhelming. I could come home, shut the door and truly relax. Not living alone makes relaxation difficult, and is a source of low-level chronic stress. I’m tense pretty much all the time.

AP-STRESSING-OVER-DEBTcredit: nbcnews.com

It’s hard to completely relax when you don’t know who/what you’ll find when you open the door to your place or when you don’t have control over who comes through your door. I’ve noticed that I don’t cook much at all when I live with others. I start to rely on restaurants and prepared food. People with anxiety will understand what I’m talking about. I’ve noticed that my health has deteriorated over the past year, in part because of my poor diet. My recent physical shows borderline high blood pressure for the first time ever and a sky high cholesterol along with a few other conditions that I won’t get into here. For my mental and physical health, I need to have my own place.

2. Minimalist aesthetics  – As an aspirant of minimalism, I like clean lines and clear surfaces. My current roommate, although a nice guy, is messy, OCD, and a hoarder in training. I’m not being mean. It’s a fact. He will admit this to you himself. He admitted it to me AFTER I signed a lease and moved in. So yeah, every square inch of every counter in this place has to be covered in crap. He can’t have one of something; he has to have five of them. For example, on his side of the bathroom sink he has five crusty bottles of handsoap, two big bottles of mouthwash, 3 tubes of toothpaste… you get the idea. Every square inch, covered. His room is so full of crap that it has spilled out into the common area. I’ll spare you all the other details, but let’s just say that as a minimalist, it is irritating and mildly stressful to say the least, that I have to be surrounded by this all the time. 

3. Privacy  – I live an an apartment building that is poorly designed. One example of this is that all the meters, circuit breaker, etc. are all located inside MY BEDROOM. Why?! Who designed that?! So whenever some fuse blows or they need to check the water meter, I have men clomping around inside my bedroom  while my roommate sleeps through everything in his room with privacy. That may not bother you, but my bedroom is a private space to me. Just this past week we had a water meter inspection in our building. At first I didn’t even know it was happening because, again, my roommate is such a junky OCD packrat, that I didn’t see the notice among all the other crap piled all over the counters. I happened to look at the notice right before they showed up.

I started working at my computer, when the doorbell rang. It was a the monitor guys. I let the first one in and he announces to the other one who is still in the hallway, that the monitor is ‘in here’ and proceeds to go straight into my bedroom! I follow the second guy back to my room and sit at my computer while they access the water monitor which turns out to be in my closet! The first guy asks if he can remove a couple of things, and I say sure. Next thing I know, he is grabbing armfuls of clothes off the bar and tossing them on my bed. He continues to  pull out half the contents of my closet – laundry bag included. Sigh. It’s a good thing my closet was tidy.

After a while of going into our kitchen and bathroom to turn the water on and off, they finish and leave, but it was just awkward. They didn’t put any of my stuff back.  I should have made them. I guess what really bothered me about it is that my apartment is junky and messy because of my roommate,  but they were only seeing my face so I felt embarrassed that they were judging me for the apartment being like this.  Yes, I tried keeping the place neat and clean when I first moved in, but quickly learned that it was a losing battle. I’m not his mother and will not clean up after another adult. It is one reason of several that I will be moving out when my lease is up.

4. Freedom  – Freedom to do what I want, when I want, however I want.  ‘Nuff said.

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How you want to feel living with roommates…

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angry baby

 

How you actually feel living with roommates…

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My Reasons to Have Roommate(s)

1. Saving money $$$ – Let’s get right to it to the dollar bills. I live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country. Yes Caroline, “the rent is too damn high!” If Jimmy McMillan ran for office out here, he might actually win.   After exhaustive searches, I’ve realized that I’m priced out of the studio/1-bed rental market; at least for nice (not luxury) apartments that are also in safe neighborhoods. By moving in with roommates elsewhere in the area, I could potentially save $400-800 per month that would go to debt and/or retirement savings.  If I didn’t have any debt, I could afford to have my own place, save for retirement, and still have a little money for fun. But alas, that will not be my life for the foreseeable future.

2. Safety – Related to #1 above, in my fever induced search, the only apartments I could afford  were in not-so-safe neighborhoods. In online tenant reviews of some of these complexes, female prospective tenants are warned not to walk about these areas at night alone. Ummm, no thanks. My physical safety is too important. By pooling money with others, I can live in safer areas.

3. Companionship  – Even if my roommate(s) and I aren’t BFFs, it would prevent me from being totally isolated, as I have been slow to make friends here. I have eternal hope that I’ll find some people that I click with and have something in common with. That would be awesome and fun. Here’s to hope.

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money worry

Even though it is affecting my mental and physical health, I’ll just have to find a way to deal with my anxiety and stress for a while longer, until I can get more debt paid down.  Are any of you living with roommates not by choice? Bring it up in the comments.

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“Debtor’s prison is real, and opportunity cost is a bitch.” (DDSW)

October 2013 Update

debt-picture

Debt repayment is going slowly.

Good News:
I have paid off one more debt. I had a $1500 student loan that was not in forbearance that I have been paying $40 towards each month.  With my previous paycheck, I paid off the remaining $690 balance. I know that it wasn’t the best move from an interest rate payoff perspective given the loan only had a 5% interest rate, but it was an annoying debt to deal with month after month. I’m glad it is gone. This will free up $40/mo to go towards my credit card payoff.

Other News:
I’m on the verge of shutting down my gym membership. Despite living only 1.5 blocks away, I have been there only once since signing up, and that was for an equipment orientation. There is no excuse for this, except for one thing  — exhaustion.

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I don’t know how people do it. My main job is very stressful for me because it is a lot more responsibility than I am used to. I still feel as though I’m thrashing around in the deep end of the pool so to speak. When I come home after a cramped 1 hour rush-hour public transit commute, I’m exhausted. All I want to do is drop my heavy laptop bag and fall face first into bed, but I can’t. I have more work to do. Between my two jobs, there is always more work to do.

I am very grateful for my two jobs, however I have been having a few warning signs of impending health problems.  One such sign is constant fatigue. Exercise would help relieve the stress, but how do I get the energy to exercise?  I know this sounds like a whine-fest.  I’m going to have to make an effort to at least work out at home and see how that goes. I’m going to make a good faith effort to use the gym before shutting down my membership…

Work:

Despite the stress, it is going relatively well. I admit that for the first couple of months, every time my manager asked to speak with me, I became terrified that I was going get fired.

fired suddenly

I have since learned that this is fairly typical among those who were fired from their previous job.  Now, I just get a little nervous, but not panicky like I used to. Ugh. Debt and fear are the worst.

Social/Dating Life:
Zilch. Nada. This is another source of stress, but it is another post (or 10!) entirely…

For now I need to focus on one thing at a time.

#1 Health

fitspiration-and-custard-oats-L-H7hTab.

“Debtor’s prison is real, and opportunity cost is a bitch.” (DDSW)