How to Cope with Debt

Coping with debt is a skill.

For those of us with crushing long-term debt that it will take us years to pay off, coping with debt is a skill that could save our lives. While we are working our multiple jobs and side hustles,  making more money and cutting expenses, we need to realize that dealing with debt is more than a numbers game.

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1. Breathe, Stretch, & Take a Walk

I know it sounds trite, but do it. Really. The stress of debt can be deadly. It has been linked to depression, chronic hypertension, migraines, digestive problems, heart and autoimmune diseases.  Get outside and get some sun. Deep breathing clears the lungs and lowers blood pressure. Stretching and moving increases healthy blood circulation. Taking a brisk walk strengthens the heart and exercises tense muscles. We all know how exposure to sunlight is very good for mood and natural vitamin D production.

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2. Start and Maintain a Debt Diary

When behind the bars of debtor’s prison, write. Write to save your sanity and your health.

Get a good old fashioned paper diary, regular notebook, Word/Google doc, or even a blog – whatever works for you. This diary / journal / logbook is where  you can vent about all the slights, put-downs, and insultiments you endure on a regular basis. Everytime you have your intelligence insulted on your job, write about it. Everytime you endure a desperation filled and humiliating job interview, write about it. Everytime you get snubbed by family, friends, or strangers, write about it.

Just told someone off because you couldn’t take it anymore – record it here for history. Found out that your  cousin who barely graduated high school/college married a doctor and is now on holiday with him in Europe?  Grind your teeth while you look for your bus pass.  The only place you can afford to go is to work! What about your classmate whose parents helped him start a business and who now works for himself.  Grind your teeth, and buy a dental guard from the store to avoid a nasty dentist bill, while on your way to your second job.

Write about these encounters, feel them, and get them out of your mind and down on paper – every detail. Don’t keep things bottled up. It leads to illness. Write about what happened, who said what, who did what, how the incident ended, and how it made you feel. Vow that once out of debt that this will not happen again. Then think about concrete actions that you can take to prevent it from happening again.

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3. Sit Back for Cinema Therapy

Cinema therapy gives us a chance to make sense of our own financial situation by seeing it reflected in the lives of others. For some, distance provides perspective. There a few different forms of cinema therapy.

Library-Books

4. Catch the Reading Rainbow

Whether nonfiction books, fiction novels, or blogs, read things that educate, entertain, or edutain you about personal finance, minimalism, frugality, and lifestyle design. Don’t overlook the fiction genre. One entertaining fiction book about sudden unemployment that I enjoyed recently was Bitter is the New Black. Check it out from your local library. You do patronize your FREE local library, right?

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5.  Join a Personal Finance/ Debt Therapy Group

Don’t want to bother your friends and family with another diatribe or cry session? Has your debt diary started yelling back at you to stop harassing it? You may be the perfect candidate for group therapy. There are online and face-to-face groups available for the joining. Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover Forums, Early Retirement Extreme Forums, local meetup groups, and countless others can give you the support you need to vent and strategize ways out of debt. Drag those scary financial skeletons out of the closet. No local face-to-face groups in your area? Start one on Meetup.com.

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6. Reduce or eliminate the junk

Didn’t think I’d let you off the hook that easily, did you? We all know the drill. Cut out, or at least cut down, the sugar, alcohol, and fried foods. Don’t self-medicate with drugs, or alcohol. We all know that it will cause more and worse problems down the line.

There you have it. These are a handful of ways to begin coping with long-term large debt, while we actively work to claw ourselves out of it as fast as we can. I’m working on these myself. It’s not easy.

What are some ways that you cope with your large debt?

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“Debtor’s prison is real, and opportunity cost is a bitch.” (DDSW)

My Unemployment Budget

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Running the Numbers.

1. The Outgo per month

Rent:  $425   (I’m so glad* that I moved out of that expensive apartment in January!)

Phone:  $65    (Yes, I still have my iPhone. Sigh.)

Student Loan: $40    (This one is not bundled with my others so I pay on it every month.)

Food: $400    (Yes, this is way too high**. I am not cooking and still eating out a lot.)

Public Transportation: $100  (Yikes! No longer getting free bus pass from employer. )

Misc: $70  (This may go up as I incur job seeker expenses, such as buying an interview suit, etc.)

Credit Card Debt Minimum Payment:  $650  (Ouch!  Did I mention how much I HATE debt!?)

Student Loans: $0   (These are on forbearance. Whew!)

Outgo Total:  $1,750

* – However renting a room under someone else’s roof introduces another set of challenges.

** – My goal is to start cooking more, but so far I haven’t encountered the copious amounts of free time that I am supposed to have at this point. Another part of it has to do with my living situation.

2. The Income per month

Unemployment Benefits:  $1790 (est.)    (After years of working myself into burnout and paying taxes through the nose.)

Second job: $640   (This income is NOT steady. It is ‘as needed’ work only. So I may not earn all of this in a month. Where I live you can earn up to a certain percentage of your unemployment income without it reducing your benefits.

Side hustles:  $0 to $100    (I haven’t started any of these yet, but I’m hoping for pocket money. Rest assured everything is legal and on the books, LoL.)
Total Income:  $1790 (+ $0 – $700)
TOTAL BUDGET BALANCE = +$40  (+$0 – $700)

What Does This Mean?

Well, the good news is that for the foreseeable future (5 months), I will be able to pay my bills while I look for work. This is of course, barring any unforeseen expenses. I don’t plan to remain unemployed for 5 months, but you never know. This is a lesson learned for me, to keep my living expenses low. I have learned that no job is secure and that I need to be out of debt more than anything.

I did not intend for this blog to become an unemployment blog, so while I am working at getting  work, I’ll start writing about other things as well.

Until next time!

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“Debtor’s prison is real, and opportunity cost is a bitch.” (DDSW)

Post-Job Loss Euphoria

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Thank you to those of you who sent me well-wishes after I lost my job a week ago.

I thought that would be devastated by losing my job. I was shocked by the swiftness and finality of it, but I was not surprised.  They say that job loss is one of those things that everyone will go through at least once in their lifetime. Well, I guess I can cross that off my bucket list.  I did spend one day feeling depressed about my lot in life. And not one former co-worker has contacted me to say anything. It’s like I never existed. But I was only down for that one day. I’ve found that another emotion has taken over.

Enjoying the sun

Relief! I really was not happy there. And now I’m happy that I don’t have to put up with some things that I had to deal with all the time. I should have made moves to get out sooner, but I felt trapped by my debt. So they made the move for me. Now, I feel like I have a chance to make a fresh start.  When I say fresh start, I mean finding a career that is better suited to me.  And I would do that, except that I don’t have the time or money to start over. I have debt that is accruing interest daily. I do want to get my side projects off the ground, but those take  upfront money to make happen. So, right now I’m in a holding pattern. I have tons of ideas and the time, but not the money. I am in emergency finance mode until I line up another job.

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On that front, I have spent the last week applying online for jobs. I have submitted about 15 applications. That may not sound like a lot to some people, but in my small niche industry, that’s a large number. Most job postings in my specialization are for senior level positions.  I’ve applied for all decent jobs at junior/mid-level that I can find that are here on the West Coast.

Here is another issue. I like the small city where I live, but it is rather provincial and not diverse at all. My dating life has been nil. I’d like to move to a place that is more cosmopolitan and multi-cultural and where my dating prospects will hopefully be better as a single woman. I don’t want to move to the middle of nowhere just to have a job. No offense if you happen to live in the middle of nowhere. But it is another thing that I will have to keep in mind depending on how long I am out of work. Hopefully, I won’t have to make that decision. I will see what happens.

Good news!

I have an interview. This was a job that I applied for before I was let go. I’ve gone through two rounds of interviews with them by phone. The second one I was sure I bombed. I was in a tricky situation because during the first interview I had a job and right before the second interview, I no longer had a job. I had to explain that I was no longer employed and why, etc. The interviewer did not seem very interested, and the interview only lasted 30 minutes instead of  1 hour. I was shocked when I was notified that they want to fly me out there for a third round, all-day, face-to-face interview. When I saw the email, I thought it was a mistake.  No mistake.  I’m guessing that the first interviewer liked me and overruled the second one.

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It is a senior position. I must have applied while in a state of delirium, because the job is too senior for me, but who knows. In my field, our interviews are  4 to 8 hour gauntlets, complete with a project exercise, a portfolio presentation, and back to back interviews. This interview will be an 8 hour one.  I do frazzle easily, so I’m not getting my hopes high on this one. However, it does give me something to hang on to for right now. I haven’t heard back from any of the other places I’ve applied to. If I can make it out of this interview without embarrassing myself, I will consider it a success!

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On the personal front, I still have not told my family. My parents will flip out and overreact. They will do this because I “don’t have a man to take care of [me].” My siblings will be concerned but more steady.  I will have to have “the talk” this weekend.

In my next post, I’ll give a run-down of my finances and what my emergency budget and strategy will be for the foreseeable future.

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“Debtor’s prison is real, and opportunity cost is a bitch.” (DDSW)