Post-Job Loss Euphoria

unemployed

Thank you to those of you who sent me well-wishes after I lost my job a week ago.

I thought that would be devastated by losing my job. I was shocked by the swiftness and finality of it, but I was not surprised.  They say that job loss is one of those things that everyone will go through at least once in their lifetime. Well, I guess I can cross that off my bucket list.  I did spend one day feeling depressed about my lot in life. And not one former co-worker has contacted me to say anything. It’s like I never existed. But I was only down for that one day. I’ve found that another emotion has taken over.

Enjoying the sun

Relief! I really was not happy there. And now I’m happy that I don’t have to put up with some things that I had to deal with all the time. I should have made moves to get out sooner, but I felt trapped by my debt. So they made the move for me. Now, I feel like I have a chance to make a fresh start.  When I say fresh start, I mean finding a career that is better suited to me.  And I would do that, except that I don’t have the time or money to start over. I have debt that is accruing interest daily. I do want to get my side projects off the ground, but those take  upfront money to make happen. So, right now I’m in a holding pattern. I have tons of ideas and the time, but not the money. I am in emergency finance mode until I line up another job.

job-board1

On that front, I have spent the last week applying online for jobs. I have submitted about 15 applications. That may not sound like a lot to some people, but in my small niche industry, that’s a large number. Most job postings in my specialization are for senior level positions.  I’ve applied for all decent jobs at junior/mid-level that I can find that are here on the West Coast.

Here is another issue. I like the small city where I live, but it is rather provincial and not diverse at all. My dating life has been nil. I’d like to move to a place that is more cosmopolitan and multi-cultural and where my dating prospects will hopefully be better as a single woman. I don’t want to move to the middle of nowhere just to have a job. No offense if you happen to live in the middle of nowhere. But it is another thing that I will have to keep in mind depending on how long I am out of work. Hopefully, I won’t have to make that decision. I will see what happens.

Good news!

I have an interview. This was a job that I applied for before I was let go. I’ve gone through two rounds of interviews with them by phone. The second one I was sure I bombed. I was in a tricky situation because during the first interview I had a job and right before the second interview, I no longer had a job. I had to explain that I was no longer employed and why, etc. The interviewer did not seem very interested, and the interview only lasted 30 minutes instead of  1 hour. I was shocked when I was notified that they want to fly me out there for a third round, all-day, face-to-face interview. When I saw the email, I thought it was a mistake.  No mistake.  I’m guessing that the first interviewer liked me and overruled the second one.

interview

It is a senior position. I must have applied while in a state of delirium, because the job is too senior for me, but who knows. In my field, our interviews are  4 to 8 hour gauntlets, complete with a project exercise, a portfolio presentation, and back to back interviews. This interview will be an 8 hour one.  I do frazzle easily, so I’m not getting my hopes high on this one. However, it does give me something to hang on to for right now. I haven’t heard back from any of the other places I’ve applied to. If I can make it out of this interview without embarrassing myself, I will consider it a success!

Nokia-Lumia-800

On the personal front, I still have not told my family. My parents will flip out and overreact. They will do this because I “don’t have a man to take care of [me].” My siblings will be concerned but more steady.  I will have to have “the talk” this weekend.

In my next post, I’ll give a run-down of my finances and what my emergency budget and strategy will be for the foreseeable future.

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“Debtor’s prison is real, and opportunity cost is a bitch.” (DDSW)

It’s official. I have been fired.

As of about two hours ago, what I feared and expected, came to pass.  I was called into a Friday, 4pm meeting with my manager. She informed me what the situation was, and that she had to lay me off.

I was expecting it as you all know, but I thought I’d be able to work out a transition plan where I could at least work until I found something else. No. Everything was effective immediately. That caught me off guard. I got teary eyed at the suddenness of it all.

I’m not broken up about losing this job very much. I have been submitting job applications to other places for the last few weeks. I’m stressed out about how I’m going to pay my bills. If I didn’t have any debt, I could make do because my living expenses are now so low. But, I do have debt, a lot of it. How am I going to make those minimum payments if I don’t get another job right away? I. hate. debt.

I hate that debt is causing me so much stress. I hate the way I’ve felt all week, waiting for the axe to fall. I watched my manager avoid me all week. I sat at my desk with nothing to do while co-workers had three projects each. The last hour before the meeting was nerve-wracking.  I hate being at someone’s mercy like that. I will never ever go into debt again. No amount of stuff is worth this. My number one priority is to get another 9-5, live as cheaply as possible  and pay this debt off as fast as I can.

I have to tell my landlord and re-assure her that I will be able to pay rent. I will be eligible for unemployment benefits.

I have to tell my family (my siblings and parents) and deal with that. That’s going to be the source of another post. I’m sure of it.

Sigh. My landlord/roommate #1, a 59 year old woman, just came back to the house with her boyfriend. That makes me feel so alone, because I have no one to console me right now. I don’t think it has completely hit me yet. I’m unemployed. I am unemployed. I have no place to go on Monday. And the clock is ticking.

Soon, I will formulate a plan of action (filing for unemployment benefits, ramping up job applications, etc.). For right now, tonight, I just need to cope and deal with this emotionally.

April 2013 Update: Back from the Dead Edition

medium_8551369496 exhaustion desk

I’m back for a brief update. My credit card balance is still at $24,998. Right now, I need to build up my emergency fund. Why? Well, the last few weeks have been brutal on the job front.

Right when my second job started, I became entangled in an unusually large project at my 9 to 5 job that required more and more time. For the past two weeks I have been working all day, all night, weekdays, and weekends. No sleep. No breaks. Between the two jobs, I was exhausted, stressed out, and at my breaking point.

My relationship with my manager at my 9 to 5 job has been rapidly deteriorating over the past several months, and this past week has been one of the worst. I’m certain that she’s already laying the ground work to fire me. Poor work review in writing (where I’d had none previously), check. Replacement hired, check. Oh yes, she’s hired someone new to “join” the team, but it’s obvious to me that this person will be replacing me.

I’ve realized that I’m better suited to working “in-house” at a company than working for clients.

I’m literally waiting for the axe any week now.  I have a standing monthly meeting with her next week, and it will not be pretty. If I walk out of there with my job I will be surprised. In the meantime, I’m submitting applications to various places and have already had one phone screen.

Buckle-up. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

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“Debtor’s prison is real, and opportunity cost is a bitch.” (DDSW)

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photo credit: Cristiana Gasparotto @ flickr, “Exhaustion”, Creative Commons 2.0