[-$24,200] Of Age and Fuses

Of Age and Fuses

Look at this picture. Do you see a young woman or an old woman?

At work this week, I was talking on a conference call with teammates and the banter led to a conversation about people’s ages. They each said the year they were born. (I didn’t volunteer mine.) I found out that the people that I’ve been working with on this project are ALL younger than me! Even the two leads who are 2 levels above me who I thought were years older. My jaw silently hit my desk.   

With this new revelation I looked around the office (with the Twilight Zone theme playing in my head) and it made me hyper-aware that I’m probably older than like 96% of the people in the office going by looks.  With all the hiring of young people in recent years, I’ve always known that I’m on the older side now, but I’m now including leadership.

In my mind’s eye, I’ve always seen myself as relatively ‘youngish’ (emphasis on relatively) especially compared to people one and two levels above me at work. Now I’m realizing that those people who are higher up and get their own offices, who I always thought were ‘a little bit older than me’, may, in fact, be younger than me. I feel sooo old and left behind. I thought I’d be further along in life.

I’ve never been a careerist and ladder climber, not in the slightest, but what happened to my potential?  At some point, I may end up being that old person in the office who gets bossed around by a manager half their age.

None of this is a big deal in the grand scheme of things, just another fuse that’s been lit under my ass that it’s time to make some big moves next year. I’ve been stagnant and miserable for too long. The clock is ticking, and I’m just getting older. (I’m still waiting on the wiser part.)

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Loss

I just lost a family member to a long and painful illness. She was only in her 30’s. Life is short, and tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Another fuse…

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It’s a Small World After All…

About a year ago, I was doing interviews in a vain attempt to get escape my job.

Remember this chick?

Plus, one of the key decision makers took an instant dislike to me, exuding a dismissive air, and never even asking me one question the entire time.

The one who was so condescending and dismissive to me during my interview? The one who never asked me even one question?

Yeah, she just got hired into my division. Just found out about it via announcement. Ugh! Can you believe this? I wonder if she even remembers me? If she does, will her bitchy attitude continue toward me? This will be interesting, to say the least.

One positive thing I can say about my job is that there have been no “Mean Girls” in my office. In that respect, we have a good culture. I really hope that doesn’t change. Hopefully, I won’t have to work with her directly. Another hope. Another fuse…

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Student Loan Progress


On a good note, I’m continuing to make full payments to my student loans. The end is in sight and the sooner I kill this debt, the sooner I am free. I’ve decided not to slow down my debt repayment to pay off my credit card and travel expenses. Commenter Maria’s question got me to reconsider my previous plan.

I’m using money from my Opportunity fund to pay off the rest of my trip and credit card expenses. My travel overage – data, backpack (suitcase will have to wait), unexpected extra plane fare (ouch), shopping, taxi/uber, etc. – totaled to $1935. Yeah, it’s high. Whatever. I don’t regret any of it (except for the extra plane fare).

This has brought my Opportunity Fund down to $3,325 for the rest of 2019. I’m sad to see a chunk of my cash cushion go, but I feel better about having everything squared away again. Now, I can focus only on my student loans.

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The Race

With all these lit fuses, this is really going to be a race to the finish line. Will my debt finish first [Debt Free!]? Or my job [Fired]? Or my mental and physical health [Quit]?  I’m holding on week by week.

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Are any of you racing the clock on something? What is it?

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“Debtor’s prison is real, and opportunity cost is a bitch.” (DDSW Archives)

 

 

 

 

 

18 comments

  1. C@thesingledollar · April 15

    Yeah, I know what you mean about “what happened to my potential.” I feel like I’ve been freaked out about that since I was like 20, though. I finally decided that instead of focusing on fulfilling my potential I should focus on being part of things that were meaningful to me and I’ve been much happier overall since, but it took me a long time to get there!

    I’m really glad you’re continuing full steam ahead on your debt, and using the opportunity fund to deal with the trip. After all, the trip was an opportunity! It’s exciting to see the debt continue to fall so fast. Finishing by the new year (or maybe in January) is a real possibility, and it will open up so many more options. You could start a new career path, go freelance, go live in a cabin in the woods, whatever!

    Like

    • Yeah, most of the time I just see a career as a means to an end, but sometimes things can pierce the bubble I keep myself in. lol
      Omg, once this debt is paid off, doors and windows will start to open. I’m so over my job!

      Like

  2. Authoress51 · April 15

    So sorry about your family member. Praying for you and yours.

    Like

  3. Maria · April 15

    I’m so sorry about your family member! 😦

    Ugh, the mean girl is now at your workplace?! Sounds like the job gods are sending you another sign that you should seek greener pastures elsewhere pretty soon.

    Like c@thesingledollar says, once your debt is paid off, you could do something completely different (and maybe forget allllll about younger bosses, mean girls and all of it). The opportunities are so exciting! You could teach English abroad for a year (or longer) and take advantage of some awesome travel opportunities at the same time. 🙂

    I’m just curious, as I remember you’ve had a yearly health fund before. This year, do you just consider your health fund to be included in your opportunity fund (so it’s more or less just extra cash on hand) or are you simply banking on not having any major health related expenses this year?

    In any case, you are slaying as usual. Cheering you on!

    Like

    • Yep! I’m so done with my job. The plan is to blow that popsicle stand when my debt is paid off and I have some more cash saved.
      Doing ANYTHING abroad – that’s legal ;-)- sounds great to me right now. I just need a break. A nice, long break.

      I don’t have a dedicated health fund this year so any unexpected medical expenses will have to come from the opportunity fund this year. Elective health-related treatment that is pricy will have to wait until next year. In the future, I plan to go back to having a health fund.

      Like

  4. Cathy Edwards · April 15

    Condolences, for you and your family. Tomorrow is not promised, let us appreciate each day. So excited to get to see you run your “race” so well. I’m curious what was commented maria’s question that got you thinking in a different direction.

    Like

    • Thank you, Cathy.
      Maria simply asked why I was planning to slow down my debt repayment instead of using my opportunity fund to pay off my credit card. After I wrote my response, I started to reconsider. I want this debt gone.

      Like

  5. The Bookworm · April 16

    I am sorry for your loss, and I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.

    Like

  6. Isabella · April 16

    I NEVER can see the old hag in the illustration, only the young woman. Is that good? Ha.

    Oh, to leave this world only in her 30’s is so sad. Condolences to your family.

    We are all rooting for you down the home stretch. Having options will be a game changer. And give that chick the evil eye if she gives you any trouble.

    Like

  7. Solitary Diner · April 18

    So sorry about the loss of your family member.

    Your progress on the debt continues to impress me. You are so close! I’m excited for the day when I see your $0 post!

    Like

  8. Anonymous · April 18

    Before opening your email, I was very excited to see your number! You are so very close and I am excited for that.

    I, too, am sorry to hear about the loss of a family member. I hope you are able to look to the fond memories for comfort when reminded of your loss.

    I was just telling a friend about the people in my office who are obsessed with the ages of others. The people who are “our” age want to confirm my age (I work in HR so that’s not happening… not because I’m HR but I think its unnecessary and I don’t want to get into a convo about ages) and those who are older keep telling me their age in an effort to elicit the same information from me. I don’t like it because I like to think that i can respect people for what they bring to the table and not worry about how long they’ve been working. I understand the comparisons and the emotions, but I can relate to your scenario in that i just don’t like the discussions and don’t participate when they come up.

    All the best – onward!

    Like

  9. Anonymous · May 18

    You really need a budget. You shouldn’t have to go into credit card debt every time you take a trip. Since traveling is obviously a priority for you, you need to save for it and when the trip happens pay for things with money you’ve saved. I recommend YNAB for your budget. It costs $80+ but they let you try it free for 34 days (no strings attached) with YNAB (and Dave Ramsey) I paid off $14k in student loan and I don’t have a monthly credit card bill because everything I charge on my card I budget for.

    Like

    • Hi and thanks for reading.
      I actually did have a budget. The problem is that I went over budget! A big part of going over budget was an unexpected additional travel expense that I did not foresee. That being said, I significantly underestimated my travel expenses. Thanks for the suggestion. I haven’t looked into them much before.

      Like

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